Every profession has its jokes. Dental jokes, unlike others which can be insulting or disgusting, are generally clean and fun. Please enjoy some laughs with these and if you have a good one, we’d love to hear it. But, be kind to your dentist, he has fillings too!
“Happiness is your dentist telling you it won’t hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.” — Johnny Carson
The Smiths were shown into the dentist’s office, where Mr. Smith made it clear he was in a big hurry.
“No fancy stuff, Doctor,” he ordered, “No gas or needles or any of that stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with.”
“I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you,” said the dentist admiringly. “Now, which tooth is it?”
Mr. Smith turned to his wife Sue. “Show him, honey.”
Q. What does the dentist of the year get?
A. A little plaque.
The dentist says to the patient, “Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?” Patient: “Why? It isn’t all that bad this time.” Dentist: “There are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don’t want to miss my 7 o’clock tennis game.”
A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald’s. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them.Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn’t have to split theirs. The old gentleman said, “Oh no. We’ve been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50.” The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied… “Not yet…It’s his turn with the teeth!”
Man: “Darling, your teeth remind me of the stars.”
Woman: “Because they gleam and sparkle?”
Man: “No, because they come out at night!”
Q. What game did the dentist play when she was a child?
A. Caps and robbers
Q. What was the dentist doing in Panama?
A. Looking for the Root Canal
One day, a man walks into a dentist’s office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth. “Eighty dollars,” the dentist says. “That’s a ridiculous amount,” the man says. “Isn’t there a cheaper way?” “Well,” the dentist says, “if you don’t use an anesthetic, I can knock the price down to $60.” “Nope,” moans the man, “it’s still too much.” “Okay,” says the dentist. “If I save on anesthesia and simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I can knock the price down to $20.” “Marvelous,” says the man, “book my wife for next Tuesday!”